My face looked sallow after returning home from minor surgery today, but I really didn’t feel as bad as I looked. I was happy it was over, for sure. Sometimes preparing for something that never made our bucket list, and that we have no choice about, is worse than its recovery. Once beyond the waiting room, I awaited the necessary prep. I truly dislike needles so I won’t talk about it anymore except to say I ramble more than ever when this part comes. In uncomfortable situations, I become an expert in about anything that pops in my mind. I don’t pre-think the topics or they may not come out right. So I administer a huge burst of confidence and dive right in. Today, the story had to do with whale-watching on Cape Cod. This truly was not a random topic as, while the nurse asked me to make a tight fist, the doctor was asking if I ever get motion sickness. Yes. And then the story flowed… did it ever flow! I reminisced about Hurricane Bob. I told any listening ears, and probably a few non-listening ones, how we went whale-watching a few days after the hurricane hit Cape Cod in 1991. Because of the choppy waters, Dramamine was highly recommended by the boat crew and a plate of it was passed around. I took two. They were so tiny, and having never taken them before, figured I’d take the same dose as Ibuprofen. I never saw any whales. But when I woke up, most others on the trip looked quite green. By the time I shared the story of the whale-watching trip, my IV prep was in and the worst part was over.
Times like these I wish, oh do I wish, that I could whisk away things I worry about, just like that verse in the Bible about lilies in the field. I try to figure out why something so trivial, such as needles, brings such anxiety. I wonder if the one time I kept getting poked and had bruises up and down both arms, might have contributed to this fear. Maybe. But, sometimes, things just can’t be figured out. And that’s okay. But, I can do something about it. When I fear something, I try to brush the unpleasant thoughts away and focus on the positive. If I keep practicing, I have hope that things will get better. I am full of stories ready to be shared in an instant. And I will never give up practicing and praying.
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today. – Matthew 6:25-34
Photo by Karen Gheesling Mullis