Bread for the Journey

Today I felt full and my office reflected that fullness. (Yes, that is a neon green toothbrush on the table; to be used for gold paint flecks on the labyrinth). My day was full of meetings and tasks; some planned, others not, all good. My mind was full of final preparations for General Assembly. During the late afternoon stretch, my stomach became full of Ted Drewes frozen custard leftover from the children’s musical. My heart was full when our son stopped by church to join me for lunch and to help with a project. I was full of joy as our “door artist” began her creation; the door is becoming full of life! My spirit is full.

When I make bread, mixing flour with water, the gluten swells to form a connective tapestry of strands. This woven network forms the structure of bread dough and gives it strength and elasticity. It takes time and effort to knead the dough, creating tight bonds.

When I belong to something, I feel connected, and I stay longer. A few church members who moved out of town continue to stay connected through their friends. We just received several new members into our church family, and I spoke with one about how he might like to connect to our community.

Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love. The fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above. ~ John Fawcett

I was all prepared to host this month’s gathering of music sharing and lunch. The featured salad included smoked chicken from a top notch barbecue restaurant, and our order had already been picked up. I hard boiled the eggs and cooked the bacon the night before, the table was set, and dessert was baked and ready to go. I felt at ease with not much left to do. One hour before guests were to arrive, I headed downstairs to retrieve the chicken from the refrigerator. When I opened the door, it opened too quickly and my calmness instinctively drained away. The door had not completely sealed, so the food inside was not as cold as it should have been. Not thinking straight, I immediately took two large bites of the pulled chicken; if I got sick within the hour, I would not serve it. After swallowing, I felt embarrassed for even thinking about serving it. And it was an odd feeling doing something with the knowledge that it could cause me to become sick. I quickly called on our son to help, and he hurried to the nearest store to pick up fresh chicken. Not quite what I had anticipated just before receiving company. I shared the story with my guests and we all had a few laughs. Sometimes my preparations don’t quite go as planned, but when I’m able to laugh with others about my mishaps, I can restore my sense of peace.

A new acquaintance gave me a recording of her performance of John Cage-style piano preludes by Christian Wolff, a composer unfamiliar to me. These independent pieces were composed “with the intent of giving the performing pianist space to develop individual ideas.” Between each selection, poems by Friedrich Holderlin (1770-1843) were read by German narrator Bernt Hahn. Not only was I struck by how the Eastman-trained pianist was able to capture the poetry in her music, but I had never heard the German language so beautifully spoken. Although I didn’t know what he was saying, and it was challenging for me to interpret the contemporary music, through both I could feel the essence of the poetry.

The power of imagination and art is at the level of soul, where we do not consciously know what is happening. Therefore, we cannot engineer it, do not need to understand it, nor can we fully stop its effects! ……Perhaps, like the prophetic mystics of all traditions, the great artists of each generation can help us transcend our dualisms and move us beyond the exclusionary frameworks that are comfortable for us . . . if we have the ears to hear or the eyes to see and the willingness to engage! ~ Richard Rohr

In honor of the Royal Wedding today, I did everything tea…starting out by wearing one of my favorite “tea shirts.” Next, relishing in my teadom (the boys are out playing all day), I prepared a cup of very strong English breakfast tea, then included a few extra British teatimes for fun: Elevenses (a mid morning tea break similar to the American coffee break) and Royal tea in the afternoon with strawberries and fresh vanilla bean whipped cream.

I read that when the tea leaves expand while steeping loose-leaf tea, this spreading out is called “the agonizing of the leaves”; when tea gives up all of its wonderful flavor. According to Certified Tea Specialist Lisa Richardson, “If your infuser is too small, the leaves cannot fully open, and your tea won’t realize its taste potential.” Hmmm… If I am not open to new ideas and don’t allow space to listen, my creativity is stifled and my full potential is not realized. I cannot live this way, so I listen to the tea leaves and to God!

A group of our son’s high school buddies came over to our house tonight, all home from college. I was in the midst of baking chocolate chip cookies like “old times.” “Why do we bake cookies but cook bacon?,” asked one of his friends. We discussed that for awhile. Then I thought of how numerous recipes list bacon as an ingredient; even desserts. So, not wanting to miss out on this opportunity, I cooked up some bacon and added it to a small portion of the cookie dough batter. The result? Not my favorite, but I would always wonder if I hadn’t tried. What other things in my life could I refresh and try creating new?

Someone gave me a vase full of peonies cut from their yard today. I love these flowers; their variations in color, size, and petals. I also learned that I’ve believed a myth all these years. I thought ants were necessary for peony blooms to open. False! Ants are attracted to their sweet serum, however the buds will bloom on their own. Ants positively partner with peonies in another way. They kill insects that are harmful to them. We all need advocates in life to help keep our enemies away and help us to fully bloom.

Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, to be with you forever. This is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, because he abides with you, and he will be in you. – John 14:15-17

It never fails. On days when I’m not pleased with what I’ve written, the message that I think is weak always seems to speak to somebody. This is humbling, because it reminds me that I am not the only one working in my head. The Spirit moves and breathes and surrounds us with mysteries so deep we cannot know. By allowing and believing, we become partners in faith; able to infuse God’s love into places we are not even aware. God gives us enough. What we do with this gift is up to us.

As I wait for gluten-free espresso brownies to cool before cutting them for staff lunch tomorrow, I’m sitting here talking to our son who drove in from college last night. He brought his vocal music home, so we played through a few songs in preparation for hosting Piano Club at our home; he agreed to sing. We are trying to spend as much time together as possible since he’s in town for only two weeks before heading overseas for an internship and semester abroad. Where did this time go? I tried to be aware of how quickly time passes when our children were younger, but it didn’t become real for us until they left home. Now I feel “older and wiser,” and I try to cherish each moment. Time with loved ones is a treasure.

Our back patio, full of puddles from the rain today, depicted sogginess from an overly saturated earth. I have eaten one or two (or more) soggy sandwiches in my life. In fact, I just read a sandwich professional’s take on how to make the best peanut butter and jelly. This expert spreads both sides of the bread with peanut butter; then jelly goes in the middle so the preserves don’t leach onto the bread. Another sandwich expert exclaims, “Why even bother keeping your bread from getting soggy?” Then he proceeds to give tips on how to make sandwiches even soggier! When I dip ciabatta in olive oil, I count on a certain crumb with enough holes to soak up all the goodness. And what’s a meatball sub without a good marinara-soaked bun?

The crumb of the bread determines how it will respond to ingredients placed inside or soaked up. The holes, or voids, in the bread are very important. Brian McLaren says, “A space of spiritual dryness and unfulfillment is a kind of void. A void creates a kind of power. Without a void within it, a sponge would lose the power to absorb moisture. Air would lose the power to transmit sound or scent. In fact, nothing could move if there weren’t space – a void – into which it could pass.” During a time of spiritual dryness, thirsting for life, I felt as if I were a sponge; longing to soak up all the goodness God was eager to provide. The voids are necessary for a flavorful crumb saturated with life. Delicious!