Bread for the Journey

Today I visited a winery that produces mead, a beverage made from fermented honey. Unlike most meaderies which add spices, the flavor nuances of these meads come entirely from the flower’s pollen and nectar. So the honey’s true essence shines from the bees’ sources of nourishment, such as wildflowers, orange blossoms, and Lucerne blossoms.

My nourishment comes from God and through listening I discover my unique path, allowing my true essence to shine.

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Psalm 119:103

Many times we don’t appreciate something until we nearly lose it. Nine years ago, right before Thanksgiving, our family got stuck on Bald Eagle Mountain in Colorado. We took a wrong turn onto a road that was closed for the winter. We drove into deeper snow, and as the sunlight rapidly faded, realized that we would be spending a very cold night on a narrow road facing the Continental Divide.

As parents, we felt foolish and helpless. No one was around and there was no cell phone service. We were hopeful that we would have enough gas to keep warm throughout the night and that we could back down the mountain when the sun rose. Never had we been so frightened. With a trench on one side and a several thousand foot drop-off on the other, all we could do all night was act calm for the children and pray.

We did make it off the mountain the next morning and back to our rented house. Stunned by the reality that our story could have ended tragically, we felt compelled to write letters of gratitude to our loved ones. We had a Thanksgiving we will never forget.

Challenges help us to learn, to grow, to trust, and to love.

Our church had a Thanksgiving Eve dinner and worship with communion. As the challah was broken I thought of its symbolism as the Sabbath bread of Judaism. According to my bread mentor, Peter Reinhart, the three strands of this braided loaf symbolize peace, beauty and truth. The braids separate the loaf in twelve sections representing the twelve tribes of Israel, and sesame or poppy seeds on top symbolize manna falling from heaven.

Peter Reinhart writes that “true festivals are not man-made but God-inspired and they represent a stopping of time, a suspension of everyday worries and concerns, a chance to celebrate an aspect of the goodness of the Creator and creation.” When I make bread each loaf holds this celebration as I choose the grains, knead the dough, allow it to rise, then bake the loaf to be shared with others. Every day can be a festival.

As we enter into the festival of Thanksgiving I look forward to breaking bread with family and friends and celebrating the goodness of God.

My family calls me “the midnight baker.” It’s true that many times our kitchen is alive with the smells of baking, as it is tonight. Along with the joy of baking comes the not-so-joyful task of cleaning dishes. Many, many dishes. As I wash and rinse, I am reminded of how cleansing it can be to wash away the dirt.

How do I cleanse my soul? By trying to do things I love to do as often as possible. There are days and weeks when this is not possible, however the times I can fill my life with joy help to sustain me when my life goes through periods of drought. These are the times I call on God, knowing I will soon be filled again with joy.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit. Psalm 51:12

Tonight, after a long day of work and rehearsals, I did my final grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. Not many people were there, so I peacefully wandered through the produce section. Noticing areas needing to be restocked, I imagined how it must have been bustling earlier in the day. Not looking forward to this trip to the store, “one more thing” to do today, I found myself savoring the beautiful autumn vegetables eagerly anticipating the feast to come. Praise be to God for his abundant blessings!

The children sang “Thanks Be to God” today in worship. One of the lines, “Help us to live”, made me think, “How can God help me to live?”

Reflecting on this, I realized that much of my life I didn’t feel, see, hear, or fully experience the life I was living. Only until I awoke to God, listened and followed his voice, did I find true joy.

How did God awaken me? That’s difficult to answer in words. A longing summoned me to pray by listening in the silence and, through this silence, a path was illuminated that I yearned to follow. I continue on this path because in my heart it feels right and I trust my heart’s voice.

We need each other. We think we can do things on our own, but it’s difficult to accept when we can’t.

When I was in my 30s and involved in youth ministry, I attended a retreat for our church leadership. The retreat leader invited us to find a place in the church to be alone and pray with a line of scripture. We were encouraged to try a different way to pray than we were used to; possibly using a different pose or reading out loud. After reading and reflecting on the verse, I began to repeat over and over, “I need help, I need help, I need help….” Those words stayed with me all day. I still think back to then, remembering how God knew my thoughts and brought those words into my consciousness through prayer.

I spent time with some friends last night talking about God’s presence in our lives. Sharing our stories strengthens our faith and help us realize we are not alone. As Christians, we encourage and help each other shoulder our burdens as we live in this world.

Where did I see God today? When our son asked for a copy of his turtle painting from preschool so he could use it as part of a college assignment. How was I to know that saving this piece of him would be meaningful fifteen years later?

When no one is available to talk about things weighing on my mind, I turn to God. I find consolation through prayer and scripture, and sometimes it’s just one word that speaks to me. Today’s evening Psalm 27 is with me now and will carry me through the night.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? ….Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

When I play a piece of music on the piano I observe the rests. These moments are silent, so it seems like nothing is happening in the music. Are the rests as important as the notes? I think so. During a musical pause, rests prevent a cacophony of ceaseless noise and our minds have a chance to absorb what we just heard.

Tonight I attended our church’s worship service in the Taizé style. At these services, I love the music, silence, repetition, and pauses. When my day is ceaseless noise, worship such as this, fills my heart and heals my soul. I try to remember to pause periodically during my day and listen for God’s voice. These times of rest and just “being” are as important as the times of productivity and just “doing.” I cannot do one without the other.