Bread for the Journey

Today I made pizza dough while “my boys” were on the men’s retreat. As the dough rests, it rises, but it’s doing much more. Resting allows time for the flour to soak up water so it transforms into much softer dough.

Awhile ago, I was experimenting with ingredients and timing, trying to create a communion bread recipe that would not take all day to bake. Not only that, but after the baking, the bread, once cubed, needs to sit in the open air for an hour and not disintegrate in a crumble of dryness once placed in the mouth. It’s challenging to do when bread has no preservatives, but using a small amount of natural softening ingredients like milk, oil, eggs, and sugar helps to keep it moist.

One day someone suggested using a dough proofer to hurry along the rising process. Instead of purchasing this, I experimented with Rapid Rise yeast, proofing in warm ovens, and cutting back on the resting time. What I discovered is that, when I rush the process and don’t allow enough time for the dough to rest, the finished bread tastes a bit like paper. Depth of flavor is missing.

When I pass by opportunities to rest in God, my life is tasteless too. When I listen in silence, although it seems as if nothing is happening, my soul is soaking up God’s life-giving water.

Jesus said, “Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest awhile.” Mark 6:31

My husband and son are attending a men’s retreat, so I decided to have a retreat of my own. After they left this morning I stood in the kitchen and thought about what might bring me joy today. Since our son goes back to college in a few days I decided to bake Grandma White’s gingerbread cookies for him, especially since he located the sorghum used to make them. So I mixed the dough to refrigerate overnight. Then I practiced the piano and had a good workout at the gym.

Later in the day my spiritual companion group, called “Wine and Spirit,” met for happy hour. In our foursome we catch up on news about our families and share where we see God’s presence in our lives. On my way to meet the group, the once cloudy sky gifted us with a magnificent sunset. I pulled into our church’s parking lot to take a picture knowing its beauty wouldn’t last.

There are many extraordinary moments in life that I miss. I’m either too busy to notice the “burning bush” or I notice but don’t choose to turn toward it. What if Moses caught a glimpse of God and didn’t recognize him, so instead of listening to God’s call walked past the bush and continued with his own agenda? Because I have experienced these times I now recognize my shortsightedness. God appears in unexpected moments of wonder and mystery. I must be alert to his presence if I seek the joy that only God can provide.

I just attended a concert at the Cathedral Basilica where Westminster Choir, from Princeton, NJ, performed a stunning program. In this beautiful sacred space, music resonates throughout mosaic covered walls. The notes echo, overlapping each other and creating a unique depth. I love that the program is entitled “Listen.” The musical reverberations call out to be heard and each person hears them in a different way.

When I carefully listen to another person, I create depth by echoing back, in a slightly different way, what I hear them say. When I hear God’s voice calling me, I create depth in my life by echoing back to him and following where I am being led.

I have always enjoyed art and I love how each person expresses creativity in a unique way. I love observing and imagining what the artist is trying to convey. Because I create, I understand how sometimes even the artist is not sure what inspired them to conceive their art.

Quite a few years ago I attended a youth ministry conference at a very low time in my life. One of the classes I attended introduced us to various types of contemplative prayer. When the crayons came out I thought, “Oh no, I don’t feel like coloring!”

We were invited to choose a handful of crayons, return to our tables and color something. As I walked toward the crayons I generally knew what I would draw. I love the ocean so I began by coloring blue water. Then I thought a sun in the corner would be nice. When I began to draw the sun it was as if I had lost control of my thoughts and the yellow rays I drew began to fill the page. The blue ocean was completely covered by sunlight. Even now I remember frantically scribbling the yellow rays.

That experience is so vivid in my memory because I was completely humbled. In my mind I was planning to color the ocean. Yet in my deep state of feeling “drowned,” coloring became prayer. It illuminated for me how God’s light brightly shines and overpowers the darkness.

The theme that kept surfacing for me that week was “drowning.” God was trying to pull me out of the depths. I had to let go of my own thoughts to allow his life-giving love to enter. Once I became aware of this I could begin the struggle to reach the surface of the waters. The journey has not been easy but I am grateful for what it continues to teach me.

Let the healing grace of your love, O Lord, so transform me that I may play my part in the transfiguration of the world from a place of suffering, death and corruption to a realm of infinite light, joy and love. Make me so obedient to your Spirit that my life may become a living prayer, and a witness to your unfailing presence. Amen. ~Martin Israel

“Why am I who I am today because of you and how is it that you, personally, have impacted me?” This is the question our son answered for each person in our family this year; his Christmas gift to us. Each long letter was printed on special paper and laminated. The letters included memories over the years of how what we chose to do or say, or how we chose to act, impacted his life. Several were stories I had forgotten or ones I didn’t know had made such an impact. Then he expressed his gratitude to us.

Although it was intended for family, the question he composed could be asked to everyone I meet. Each person I encounter shapes me in some way. Many times I don’t realize this impact until years later.

Gracious God, Please help me to express gratitude to others every day like the special gift my son gave to me this Christmas. Amen.

One summer my husband and I, in Cape Cod, strolled into the bay. The water was so shallow we could walk out quite far. It was fun wading in the protected waters of the bay while they peacefully lapped around us. Suddenly the swishing of the waves stopped and, while standing in the ocean, there was nothing but silence. We looked at each other, speechless, and listened. Eventually we heard a whispering in the distance, then a murmuring crescendo. Shallow ripples approached, gently surrounding us. We had just visibly and audibly experienced the turning of the tide. We felt we had experienced something special. Baptism by immersion.

Today in worship, we renewed our baptismal vows. The covenant invites us to turn to God as we affirm our faith in Christ and turn away from all that separates us from God. As my life experiences ebb and flow, strengthened by the power of the Holy Spirit, I strive to constantly follow a path toward God.

The voice of the Lord is over the waters. May the Lord give strength to us! May the Lord give us peace! ~from Psalm 29

On this feast of Epiphany, the celebration of Christ’s manifestation to the world, I think of a time I found God in the asphalt.

One day I was taking a walk on a bright sunny day. My eyes were drawn to the road covered with sparkling objects reminiscent of thousands of glittering stars. It was a beautiful sight and I was filled with the urge to pray.

Later that same year, at a sad time in my life, I was eager to feel the presence of God again and went for a walk along the same path. It was another sunny day, but I didn’t see the “stars”. I kept looking all along the road ahead, beside and behind me. No stars. I was so disappointed. Continuing on my walk I tried not to be too discouraged.

As I rounded the corner to return home I noticed a greeting card, a bit dirty, on the road next to a trash can. It caught my eye because butterflies were pictured on the front of the card. I have other stories about butterflies for another time. I opened the card and nothing had been written inside. Its message said, “Thinking of you and wishing you happiness this day and always”. That day was near the anniversary of my mother’s death and I felt as if she were speaking these words to me. My tear-filled eyes were again drawn to the road. There they were; millions of stars! To my amazement God had reappeared.

As I reminisce about this experience, it seems as if God was playing a game of hide and seek with me, taking great delight in his creation. God is never found in the same place, but if we seek him with our whole heart, mind and soul we will find him. God, who shines like stars in unexpected places, motivates me to shine the light of Christ in the world.

On the first day of Christmas…

I love that we celebrate Christmas for twelve days! I never really cared for the song; it seems to go on forever and ever. I didn’t make a connection with my faith until recently when I learned that this song may have been written to help children and adults learn and preserve the basic principles of Christianity. There are many varying thoughts about what each day symbolizes, but I like the idea of each person choosing a symbol that resonates with them to help preserve their learning.

The first day refers to a partridge in a pear tree. According to Gordon Giles “partridges, apparently, feign injury to protect their chicks. And a tree in Christian symbolism has an obvious parallel to the tree of the cross. Therefore, this might suggest that God, whom we take to be the true love, sent his Son Jesus on the first day of Christmas.”

I am not sure this new knowledge will change my impression of this song, but I do know I will perceive it in a different way. As I sing each verse, considering what each day represents in relation to the Bible, knowledge of my faith will be preserved.

I installed the annual Epiphany display at church today in preparation for the next season. Over the years I have collected art, photographs, and text. Each piece of art and poetry is beautiful and unique so it’s difficult to choose what to display each year.

When creating the first Epiphany display, I tried to find the perfect star. I searched everywhere. I really didn’t know what I was looking for, but the star eventually found me. I remember the day well; the day of the New Year’s Eve tornado in 2010. I was driving by a small store in Webster Groves, unaware that a tornado was near. A large tin star filled with light, on display in the window, caught my eye. I ran up to the door only to find it locked. The owner had taken cover from the tornado and was surprised to see me. The whole episode of my search for the star now makes me laugh.

I was on a journey then and continue journeying now. What urges me on? I love the following 18th-century text sung to the hymn “What Star is This, with Beams So Bright”.

While outward signs the star displays, an inward light the Lord conveys and urges them, with tender might, to seek the giver of the light.

O Jesus, while the star of grace impels us on to seek your face, let not our slothful hearts refuse the guidance of your light to use. ~trans. John Chandler, 1837

I admire the magi for their faithfulness and perseverance. I pray that my journey continues to be sustained by the light of Jesus.